The Situationship Sampler

Six brownies. Three emotional stages. No closure included.

• Emotionally Unavailable — dense dark cocoa, chocolate chunks that keep to themselves, salted crust. Warm exactly once. You’ll spend the rest of the time wondering what changed.
• Situationship — dark chocolate, espresso, jaggery, a soft mithai center, mascarpone swirled through. Genuinely confusing. Shouldn’t work. You’ll order it again anyway.
• Seen 2:17AM — brown butter, dark chocolate, caramel pockets, kettle chips on top. You knew what you were doing. You did it anyway. No regrets, actually.

One pair of each. $40. Cheaper than therapy. Roughly the same amount of unresolved feelings.